I Didn’t Think He Was My Type. But He’s Exactly The Kind Of Man I Need.

 

When I met my husband-to-be at my best friend’s wedding, I was honestly not that impressed. To me, the well-dressed, dark haired young man was just the third-in-a-row of eager single guys my grandmother insisted on introducing me to at the wedding reception. In fact, by the time she brought him over, I was too irritated by her all-to-obvious attempts to find me a boyfriend to really pay him much attention.

Brian remembers our encounter much differently. For him, it was love at first sight. He first noticed me during the ceremony in which I was maid of honor. Later at the reception, he watched me from across the room, wishing he could meet me, but too shy to make a move—until Fate, in the form of my grandmother, intervened.

“I just had to come over here and meet the handsome young man in such a fancy suit!” she said, introducing herself as “grandmother of the maid of honor.” Then she asked him if he’d like to meet me. My future husband, who couldn’t believe his luck, said yes, and the rest is fate. Except that fate didn’t happen right away. For me, it took awhile to see what Brian (and my grandmother) seemed to know immediately.

During our brief conversation, I tried to be polite and make small talk between bites of wedding cake, but Brian could tell I was not interested. It probably didn’t help that I was dating someone else at the time. He mentioned that he worked with my best friend and said he was surprised she’d never mentioned me. A few minutes later, I excused myself to join the bride for more pictures.  I did not give our meeting a second thought.

That is until about two months later, when my best friend brought him up during a phone call. I was crying about a recent relationship that had ended badly, when she casually mentioned that her friend Brian from work was still asking about me. I stopped sniffling for a minute to ask her who she meant, and she reminded me that we’d met at her wedding. “Oh him,” I said. “No thanks. He’s not my type, and I don’t want another long-distance thing.” My friend urged me to at least let him email me. “Brian’s really nice,” she said, “You might be surprised.”

Eventually, I agreed to let her give him my email address. When he emailed me a few days later, I let him know I was not interested in anything serious. But Brian—who had not been able to stop thinking about me since the wedding—was undeterred. He had an easy confidence about him, and slowly but surely began to change my mind. We began talking on the phone, and he asked if he could fly out to visit me some weekend. On our first date, eating lunch at a local seafood restaurant, we talked about our similar (broken) family backgrounds. I noticed his great sense of humor and that we had similar values. But I still wasn’t sure if I liked him. I remember asking myself at the time, “Why don’t you give a nice guy a chance for a change and see where it goes?”

I’ve written before that my feelings for Brian began to change on our third date, when he helped me out in the church nursery. As our relationship progressed, Brian proved to be a gentleman, treating me with respect and tenderness. He’d send me flowers and romantic cards with the sweetest notes inside—just because. When he kissed me for the first time, I was completely swept away. More importantly, I felt confident in his love and protected and cherished like I’d never felt before in previous relationships. I also felt comfortable enough to be myself.

We were very happy, but about eight months into our relationship, when I sensed he might pop the question, I panicked and broke things off. I told him I needed space to think, to be sure we were right together. While I expected an emotional scene, Brian’s confident response surprised (and attracted) me. He said he loved me and urged me to take as much time as I needed, promising, “I’ll be here.”

As it turns out, I’m the one who ended up missing him like crazy! Within a week of breaking up (a week during which I called him several times), we were back together. About a month later, on a day trip to the beach, Brian got down on his knees in the sand and asked me to marry him, and I was ready to say yes.

We’ve now been married nearly 14 years and have two beautiful children, and I can honestly say I love him more today than I did then. Although we’ve had our ups and downs, I wouldn’t trade a single minute we’ve shared. Brian is a committed and loving husband and father, and he has helped me to become a more confident woman. He also turned out to be more like the prince charming of my dreams than I realized when we were dating! While he may not have been my “type” at first, that changed as I got to know him and allowed him to love (and woo) me. I am so thankful I listened to my heart (and my grandmother and best friend) and gave a nice guy a chance.

 

Alysse

Alysse lives in North Carolina with her husband, Brian, and their two children. She is part of I Believe in Love because, like millions of American children of divorce, she grew up with very few examples of lifelong love, and she wants to be part of a conversation that is offering hope to others who want to build strong marriages that will last.
Alysse

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4 Comments

  • O my Goodness , I just read this and I ‘m crying all the way through it ! I remember this so vididly, I can still see Brian standing there so handsome and seeming to be thinking deeply about something — and I found out it was really ” that lovely brunette who is the maid-of -honor ” .? But, I truly wasn’t trying to set Alysse up that time -lol – he just looked like a nice young man to chat with. It was actually HE , who asked me ” you mean That beautiful girl is your granddaughter? ” . And , the rest is the wonderful story of their life ,that God truly had in his plan. I am so very proud of their devotion to that plan and to their precious children . Blessings to you always .Taita

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