Listening to the radio the other day, I came across a station talking about marriage. Being only seven months away from my own wedding, I was very attentive to what they had to say. Of course, they started off the conversation in a joking manner about how “women remember everything” and “men never clean up after themselves,” and so on. However, the thing that stuck with me the most was the last thing they said: “I want my marriage to be more beautiful than my wedding day.”
It hit home. I am very thankful and blessed to have found such an amazing man. He has shared many great (and not-so-great) moments with me.
But during the first few months of wedding planning, I did nothing but add a million pins to my wedding board on Pinterest. Picking the colors, theme, dresses, tuxedos, and more all became immediate decisions that had to be made. Due to the constant decision making, every conversation we had was about wedding planning. I remember a time when we had discussed the wedding so much that we forgot to plan for our upcoming vacation to Las Vegas! We found ourselves struggling at the last minute (and even while we were in Las Vegas) to come up with an itinerary to give our friends who were driving us around when we got there. This was stressful for both of us and left us feeling like we missed something while on vacation.
By including him in on all of the planning, I thought I was remembering him. However, the more I thought about it, I realized that he really doesn’t like planning. He’s not even that thrilled about the prospect of standing in front of 120 people on our big day. He would never say that because he loves me, and I get very excited about the big day. But I know he is probably tired of the planning.
So, what did I do after listening to that radio show? I pretended the wedding wasn’t happening for a couple of days. I went back to it being just me and him talking about how crazy work has been or about the endless shrimp that’s back at Red Lobster. Funny how a normal conversation can have such a positive impact and remind us of what’s really important: our upcoming marriage.
Marriage is so much more than just your wedding day. It’s spending quality time with each other and remembering who you fell in love with. Communication is such a vital part of a marriage, but it’s also important to consider the topic of conversation. As I said, my fiance is not a planner. By discussing planning so much with him, he was losing interest in the wedding, and that’s definitely not what I wanted to happen. Even worse, he was losing interest in our conversations. It’s so important to continue to focus on the person you are going to marry. Just because you are now engaged doesn’t mean you can forget to invest in your relationship.
I must admit, it’s fun to watch those crazy women (and sometimes men) on Say Yes to the Dress and to become engulfed in the details all the way down to the confetti on the tables. I’ve just got to make sure I don’t let the thrill of finally being a bride-to-be make me forget about my fiance. Yeah, you know, that guy that is totally in love with me and who made all this possible.
In the midst of all of the wedding planning, I’m finding out how important it is to take a deep breath and remember what this is really all about. Yeah, a beautiful dress and great food may seem to be the most important details when I’m inviting guests to my big day. But in the end, what matters most is that I’m going to be married. Wow. I’m getting married! This has been something I’ve been dreaming of my entire life! And even more amazing, I’ve found someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
From this moment on, I vow to always strive to make our marriage more beautiful than our wedding day.