When You’ve Got a Good One, Stop Looking!



There was never an audible voice from heaven, a lightning bolt epiphany, or a magical knight-in-shining-armor-riding-off-into-the-sunset moment. I didn’t jump out of bed one morning in startling revelation and exclaim – “He’s it! He’s The One!”.

In fact, I don’t even remember when I first knew that I’d end up marrying Kyle.

But I do remember at some point determining that he was a pretty great guy, I was happy with him, I thought we made a good team, and I could see him being part my future. It was then that I determined that I would probably end up marrying him.

People are always curious as to how someone knows they’ve found The One? And I don’t know how to answer this question. Because I didn’t FIND my husband – I CHOSE him.

I think it’s important for married people to speak highly of marriage, and a lot of times you’ll hear people uses phrases such as “she’s perfect for me”, or “I found my soulmate”, or “when you find the right one, you’ll just know”, etc. And while I appreciate these sentimentalities, I wonder if they confuse many in the midst of looking for their marriage partner. The vast majority of us are not smacked over the head in obvious divine revelation with who our most perfect future spouse is. Most of us just find a good person who is a good fit for us and who would be a wise choice – and then we take that leap of faith and jump into marriage.

Sure, if you ask around, you can find a whole list of traits to look for in a future spouse: sense of humor, trustworthiness, kindness, loves kids, attractive, etc. And while it’s wise to carefully consider these traits when deciding your future marriage partner, at some point, you just have to choose the best you can based on the truly important things: shared core values, commitment to marriage, and an introspective willingness to work things out.

Kyle had many of the qualities I had hoped for in a future marriage partner, I cared about him deeply, I felt it was an appropriate time in my life to marry and I was prepared for the commitment of marriage. Could there have been a “better” fish out there in the sea had I passed up Kyle and waited for someone else? Maybe.

But Kyle was a great guy for me, and I had no way of knowing if he was ‘The One’ that all the movies talked about. So instead I made him The One. I decided that I wanted him to be the person I would share my life with, and I wanted to share his in return. And then we committed to starting the great journey of marriage together, never to turn back!



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