I believe in love because I see its healing power everyday as a counselor.
You might think that, since I am a therapist, it would be hard to believe in love. After all, you might wonder, doesn’t she spend her workday helping people who haven’t experienced love in their life? How can you believe in love when you see so many people hurt by a lack of love. And while, it’s true that my work is mostly with people who are trying to change something they don’t like about their lives, I also have the privilege of being able to witness how healing love can be for someone who is in pain. And that’s why I believe in love: because everyday I see how both small and heroic acts of love can help a person heal.
Take for example, a woman who chooses to come to therapy and work on her relationship with her spouse even though he does not want to come for couple’s counseling. Her marriage was important to her and she wanted their relationship to be stronger than it was. Her love for her husband and her commitment to her marriage was so important to her that she took time out of her busy schedule to come to therapy. Her love and commitment to her relationship helped to heal her relationship and make it stronger. That is the healing power of love.
I’ve met with couples who have repaired their relationship after one cheated. Yes, they were hurt, angry, and frustrated with each other but their love for one another allowed them to heal. It was a lot of hard work and took time but they were able to heal. I have also met with couples where one person is will to make a sacrifice for the sake of the other whether it’s moving to an unfamiliar city for a new job or changing the way they communicate in order to strengthen their relationship. Their love for one another helps them to work through whatever difficulties they are facing instead of running in the other direction.
I’ve worked with parents who, because they love their child, but are unsure of how to help them themselves, bring their child in for therapy to help them work on anxiety or troubles with bullies at school. These parents take time out of their busy schedules to bring their children to therapy because they love them and want to help them heal. If it weren’t for their lov, it would be a lot harder for their sons and daughters to heal.
I also see the healing power of love outside of the counseling room. I see it when a random stranger helps someone with their overflowing bag of groceries or when I see an older gentleman at the gym carrying his wife’s gym bag as they head to their car. I see it when my friend’s mother, despite undergoing treatment for cancer, help her daughter have the most beautiful wedding, I have seen real love. Love is everywhere in those little gestures of kindness and self-sacrifice between friends, strangers, spouses, parents, and children.
I believe in love because I see its healing power all around me.
- Psych Corner: How Past Relationships Impact Current Relationships - November 17, 2016
- How Past Trauma Affects Current Relationships (And What You Can Do About It) - November 7, 2016
- Psych Corner: How To Help A Friend In An Abusive Relationship - October 12, 2016