Why Waiting Until Marriage Matters Even If You’ve Already Lost Your Virginity

sex matters even if you've already lost your virginity

Virginity was a big deal to me growing up. My dream was to wait until I was in love before I had sex. My family advised me to wait until I was married. All my friends seemed to be trying to lose their virginity. What I thought about sex and the messages I was receiving was confusing at times.

So I didn’t really have a chance to decide how I felt about virginity before my boyfriend pressured me to do more than I wanted with him, and we were more physical than I wanted to be. When I refused to have full-on sex with him, he dumped me. I felt worthless and used.

After that, I felt like I didn’t have the luxury to decide what I thought about sex before marriage anymore. With my next boyfriend, I thought he would surely expect it since I had given my body to an ex-boyfriend—never mind that it was not mutual.

I had sex with my new boyfriend because I thought we had to go further for him to know that I liked him more than the last guy. Giving my body to another boy was a big mistake for me because I still wasn’t ready. And once I gave myself to him, he expected it to continue. Every time I had sex I felt like I was taking away something special about sex for when I did get married.

I finally hit a point where I realized no matter how many times I had had sex, I wanted to stop and wait for the love of my life. Even though I had already lost my virginity, I knew I would feel so much better about myself by waiting for the man I married.

I stopped looking for a relationship or being physical with men. Not worrying so much about being in a relationship freed me to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I focused on trying to better myself so I would be ready for when I met my husband.

When I finally met my husband he totally understood my past and all I had been through. We both waited until we were married, and I’m so glad we did. Sex was a totally different experience with my husband. Having sex with a man you are totally in love with and who is totally in love with you is worth the wait.

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1 Comment

  • I see from your bio that you are married to your college sweetheart so this must have happened within a fairly short period of time. Now imagine my situation, lost my virginity to my college sweetheart thinking we’d get married someday, broke up with him and decided to wait. 18 years after meeting him and 10 years after breaking up, I’m still waiting. Not everyone gets the happy ending.

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