Do You Marry His Family Too?

marry his family

My mom frequently recited this little quip to me and my sisters: Remember, you don’t just marry HIM; you marry his family too.  A good bit of advice to consider.  But I didn’t always think so.  If two people really love each other, then why should their family matter? After all, you aren’t exchanging vows with them.

When I knew I was going to marry my Victor, I didn’t care what sort of family he came from because I loved him.  I knew that nothing about his relatives could change the way I felt about him.  However, I did still want to meet them all.  I wanted to know what kind of people would, in some way, be a part of my future life. My meeting them was in no way going to determine whether or not I would still marry Victor.  But it would give me some insight into our future.

In a world where most people despise their in-laws, I am most blessed to be able to say that I have some pretty awesome ones. I don’t face the extreme challenges that some couples face with their extended family, but that doesn’t mean that everything has always been easy. I’m glad we faced those challenges early, because it meant we entered marriage with a plan.

At the end of the day, you are only going to climb into bed with him—the man that you love. But keep in mind that one of the biggest ways to show him your love is to love his family too, no matter how different you all may be.  Regardless of the situation, it is worth considering whether or not you want to make that family your own.

Even though you are exchanging your wedding vows with just one person, a marriage brings more than one new person into your life. This can be a good thing and a bad thing—sometimes all in the same week.  But realizing that this is a real part of a marriage may be the best way to equip yourself to handle it for the duration of your married life.


Allison lives in South Carolina. She is her own boss as an entrepreneur, but the job she lives for is being a wife and mom. Her husband was born in Central America. As a family, they strive to include both their American and Salvadoran cultures in their lives. Allison believes in love because only true love can transcend differences.
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