My mother’s love advice often rings through my head when I think about my relationship with my husband: You always know how much someone loves you by how much he is willing to sacrifice himself for you.
He shows me every day. He sacrifices little things like cleaning up the kitchen for me when I’m tired or sometimes giving me the last piece of dessert.
He also makes bigger sacrifices, like sacrificing sex-on-demand for my health and well-being. We regulate the size of our family by not having sex during the days of the month that I am fertile. My husband acknowledges my concerns about the Pill and supports my decision not to take it, telling me that he doesn’t want me putting anything into my body that could be harmful. When my husband gains mastery over something as powerful as his sex drive, it speaks volumes to me about the depth of his love for me.
His words and actions makes me feel loved for the person I am, which I am sure is how every woman most deeply wants to be loved. More than making us feel beautiful, I think we want to know that our partners truly value us as persons.
Of course, love is a two-way street. I make sacrifices for him too. For example, he gives up some of his time to make it possible for me to pursue my personal goals and dreams, helping me with the housekeeping so I can do the volunteer work I love. I, in turn, try to give him time to do the computer programming and gaming he enjoys. I’m grateful that Chris encourages me to spend time doing things that make me feel fulfilled and I know he feels the same way about me.
I’m glad my mom gave me such good advice on love growing up. It has allowed me to notice the many ways my husband says, “I love you” even when he doesn’t say it in words or with romantic gestures like a bouquets of roses or a love poem. He shows the true measure of his love for me in all the ways he sacrifices for my good, both big and small, and I’m challenged to do the same.